My walk with Ana.
- reach my GW and my UGW
- drink 2 L of water a day
- stop binge eating!!!
- hit 10 k people on tumblr
- get a six pack
- wore a bikini first time
- have a boyfriend (or girlfriend who knows)
-show you my body
- learn new languages
- be happy
Do it for the..
It started as a diet, because I wanted a “bikini body ”.
It started as a coping mechanism, to cope with my depression.
It started as a way of expressing outwardly my inner pain my parents chose to ignore.
It started when my dad pinched my stomach fat and laughed.
It started as an obsession, to be perfect in every way.
It started as a way of killing myself, without the immediate effect of dying .
It started as a way of self harm ,but without the permanent scars.
It started as a punishment for my parents’ abusive behaviour.
It started as a result of another illness.
It started when I couldn’t afford food anymore.
It started when my anorexic friends pushed me to be like them.
It started after I was sexually abused.
It started because I wanted her to stay.
It started because I lost appetite and pleasure for anything I used to enjoy.
It started when I wanted to be a model.
It started when I came across a proana site.
It started after I stopped feeling lonely.
It started when I began chemotherapy.
It started when the skinny girls in my class began to attract those senior guys.
It started because I wanted to fit in those size XS jeans again.
It started because my mother started too.
It started because it was a cry for help.
It started, because I have it in my genes.
It started because I believed skinny girls to be happier.
It started because I wasn’t sick enough.
It started because I have OCD.
it started because of my gender dysphoria.
It started when I couldn’t cope with his death any longer.
It started because my doctor called me fat.
It started because I wanted to lose weight fast.
It started because no other diet seemed to work.
It started when living was terribly painful and didn’t want to live any longer.
It started when I was ashamed of myself just for existing and breathing made me feel guilty enough, to the point where I couldn’t stop thinking about suicide. I just wanted to disappear and scare everyone away.
I started as a result of another ed.
Every reason is bad enough for you to recover and you’ll always deserve to be helped, to be loved and to me validated :)
Your struggles matter.
It started when I began to hate myself, lost all my friends, and wanted control over something in my life.
You don’t understand. I’m not trying to “lose a few pounds for summer”.
Slim up for the bikini body?
You think losing those 2 kilos is worth celebrating? Well, sure, but it’s not enough.
I’m not stopping until I’m as fit as I possibly can be. I will be so skinny your eyes will roll out of their sockets.
You still don’t understand. I’m not trying. I will.
I will be skinny.
I will be beautiful.
I will work my hardest to reach perfection - and at some point, I’ll have it.
Just you wait.
humorrelated
